The part of Exodus where Moses goes up Mount Sion is a hilarious example of total storytelling chaos in the bible.

In fact, Exodus is so unclear, that we often don't know where Moses is exactly: on the mountain, or in the desert. Even the Lord gets confused. In Exodus 24:12, God invites Moses up on the mountain - while Moses is already there.

The reason: Exodus was written by at least three different authors at three different times, bible researchers conclude. And these three people just couldn’t agree on a good biblical story. Finally, another person, the ‘Redactor’ (editor), stitched the texts together.

Moses’ meeting with Yahweh is a perfect example of this. You can clearly see that there are in fact multiple texts put together. It's the bible's very own Wikipedia.

But unfortunately, it also means that Exodus 19-40 has become one of the messiest and weirdest pieces of prose you’ll find in the entire bible!

Here’s the biblical story, retold in our own words. Please read it and see for yourself why scholars think that Exodus 19-40 is nonsense.

The Israelites set up camp near Mount Sinai. Moses goes up the mountain. He hears the Lord. The Lord says, basically: tell everybody to take me seriously. Moses returns and passes on the message.

The Israelites promise to obey the Lord. Moses climbs the mountain again, and tells the Lord what the people have promised. The Lord in His turn promises He will return to Mount Sinai in three days, in the shape of a cloud, so that everybody can overhear His conversation with Moses. The Lord also stresses that nobody is allowed to climb the mountain. “Whoever touches the mountain shall surely be put to death.” (Ex 19:12). Moses returns to camp and tells the Israelites what God told him.

On the third day, God indeed arrives. The mountain trembles, trumpet blasts are heard, and there’s smoke, lightning, and God’s voice. Amazingly, the only thing God says is: Moses, come up here. Moses does this. Next, the Lord says: go back down again, and tell the people not to enter Mount Sinai.

Er… What?? So Moses is summoned up the mountain, only to hear what the Lord already told him three days earlier? And why doesn’t the Lord say this directly to the Israelites? After all, He returned to Mount Sinai “so that the people will hear me speaking with you” (Ex 19:9).

But Moses doesn’t bother. He goes back down and tells the people once again that they aren’t allowed to climb Mount Sinai.

Then, the Lord speaks to the people directly for the second time. He tells them the Ten Commandments. After He’s finished, the people shiver and say to Moses: “Do not have God speak to us or we will die." (Ex 20:19) That’s a pretty amazing thing to say! After all, God has just finished speaking seventeen biblical verses to the people, and everybody is still doing fine.

At this point, Moses climbs Mount Sinai for the fourth time. He enters the cloud and meets God.

Now, the Lord starts talking to Moses. He gives Moses an extensive list of highly detailed instructions about all kinds of things. A (pretty random) example: "If men quarrel and one hits the other with a stone or with his fist and he does not die but is confined to bed, the one who struck the blow will not be held responsible if the other gets up and walks around outside with his staff; however, he must pay the injured man for the loss of his time and see that he is completely healed.” (Ex 21:18-19) Interestingly, Moses wouldn’t have known what the word ‘pay’ meant, because money was introduced only five hundred years later.

But the Lord goes on and on, for three full biblical chapters. He gives all kinds of rules about rituals and laws, repeats the Ten Commandments (although they are slightly different this time) and tells Moses what He will do to people like the Hittites and the Persians. Finally, when He’s done, the Lord suddenly says to Moses: “"Come up to the LORD, you and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel.” (Ex 24:1)

Now that’s odd. Didn’t the Lord explicitly forbid everybody to enter Mount Sinai? Now the Lord has changed His mind: Moses can bring seventy-three important Israelites along, but only Moses is allowed to come nearby.

Moses descends and tells the Israelites all that God told him, and then writes everything down in the Book of the Covenant. He must have had a very good memory!

The next morning, Moses builds an altar at the foot of the mountain and performs several rituals, involving (among other things) the sprinkling of blood on the Israelites. Next, Moses climbs the mountain for the fifth time, accompanied by the 73 prominent Israelites. They meet God and eat and drink with Him.

Then God says: "Come up to me on the mountain and stay here, and I will give you the tablets of stone, with the law and commands I have written for their instruction." (Ex 24:12). Now that’s strange: wasn’t Moses there already? But in Exodus 24:15-18, we see Moses climbing the mountain again (for the sixth time?). This time, he’s on his own. He enters the cloud and stays there for forty days and forty nights.

During that period, the Lord instructs Moses in detail how to build an Ark and a holy tent, the tabernacle. For seven biblical chapters (!), God outlines all kinds of details about what the tabernacle and the Ark should look like. Finally, God gives Moses two stone tablets of the Covenant, which God has written with His finger.

But when Moses returns, he finds Aaron has build a golden calf to worship. Pretty weird, considering the fact that Aaron had dinner and met with the Lord in person only a month ago. No wonder Moses is pissed. He breaks the stone tablets and tosses the calf into the fire.

Next, he brings together all descendents from Levi, order them to grab their swords (huh? where did these ex-slaves suddenly get their swords from?) and to kill everyone they encounter. They do so and kill three thousand Israelites – only weeks after the Lord Himself had told them ‘you shall not murder’.

After the killing spree is finished, Moses climbs up the mountain again and begs the Lord for forgiveness. The Lord refuses: “When the time comes for me to punish, I will punish them for their sin" (Ex 32:34). He brings about a plague. But in the next verse (Ex 33:1), suddenly, everything is fine again. The Lord promises the Israelites to guide them to the land of milk and honey, the promised land.

Meanwhile, Moses meets God several times in the tabernacle, the holy tent, outside the camp. Oddly, the Lord tells Moses to climb Mount Sinai once more (why not stay in the tent?) to receive two new stone tables. Moses does so the next morning. Once more, the Lord hands out an extensive list of religious duties, laws and, interestingly, Ten Commandments that are different from the first Ten Commandments. This time, Moses does the writing himself (Ex 34:28).

For the seventh time, he descends from Mount Sinai, and hands over four more chapters of religious prescriptions to his followers. The Israelites build the tabernacle – although Exodus earlier stated that the tabernacle was already built.